Prepping for a feature

Again. I'm a bad blogger. Apologizes to my huge audience, who I'm sure have been incredibly disappointed by the extra time I've taken to post. I know. You all are probably on the verge of riot.

Anyway, I have a feature at the end of the month. That's right, Big Poppa Ben will be storming the halls of Bloombars with his mad poetry skillz! Come one, come all, March 28th!

And you know what that means.  It means it's time to stress out uncontrollably until I can barely function and horribly screw up my opportunity to prove that I'm a good poet! Ah, inadequacy.  My tentative set list includes:

Writing poem (Needs to be off-paper)

Building a Bridge

Pills Pills Pills

Love Poe

Rhubarb Poem

We Want to Hear You (Half of it needs to be off-paper)

Not to mention the usual babbling I do before poems.  I'll tell you what, I've never been up on stage for a full half hour.  Not even when I had a powerpoint backing me up and note cards in front of me.  I'm wondering if I can make it the full half hour without some catastrophe.  I consider myself a pretty unlucky person and I'm not sure I've done enough good deeds to go a half hour without like the ceiling coming down.  For your entertainment, I've done mspaint illustrations of my horrible fears:

What are the chances that I'll spontaneously combust? I DON'T KNOW! I've never been on stage for a half hour.

Anyway, come one, come all.  Bring marshmallows.  My flaming, horrible death shouldn't go to waste.