The Submiticating

Oh yeah.  Guess which talented motherfucker just submitted yet another brilliant work of art to some unwitting literary magazine.  I'll give you a hint.  He writes blog posts no one reads.

...Not that narrows it down.


"Zilch Fabulous and Death" has officially exploded the offices of Apex Magazine.
(By the way, this is an awesome site for some free sci-fi publishing info: SFWA)

A snippet:

Zilch paced the pit wondering how its dankness would affect the acoustics of his victory speech.  It didn’t occur to him that something was wrong until a small herd of Beebles dropped into the pit.  They were doing their best to look furious, which made them even more adorable.  Zilch inquired as to whether they were going to escort him to the award ceremony.  They responded with the most vicious string of Beeblian curse words ever pronounced, which came out as a series of really endearing little squeaks.

Before Zilch could saw “Aw”, the ground began to shake.  And before Zilch could discern the cause, it descended on him like an avalanche.  An avalanche of Beebles, which felt much like an avalanche of pillows.  But eventually pillows pile up.  Zilch struggled as the Beebles snuggled him savagely.  Just as he managed to emerge from under them, another layer landed on him.  Zilch grasped and gasped, cried and pried, but it was no use.  The Beebles pushed what air remained from him and the last thing Zilch Fabulous saw was a pair of adorable eyes reveling in his demise.

 What drama! What suspense! What a load of shit!