NaPoWriMo 27/30: Crazyland

This got emotional, real fast.  It's also a true story.  Weird, huh? Maybe my life is interesting, who knew?

Crazyland.

A planet floating lonely in the middle of space

Or, floating surrounded by other planets

It depended on how social I was feeling.

It spun slowly,

But sometimes quickly,

Because there’s no astronomy in third grade

And I didn’t know what gravity was,

How it pulled invisibly at all times

And kept everything close to the ground

Like some cosmic lawnmower.

Crazyland

Where hamburgers have meat instead of buns

(Yes, KFC stole my idea)

Crazyland

Where everyone has electric yellow hair

And loves to jump off buildings

Because in Crazyland,

There is no pain.

Everyone’s friendly

Because everyone’s the same.

I was a third-grader

Spending time doodling mythologies

Instead of listening to the teacher.

Because in Crazyland,

There’s no Revolutionary War,

People solve their problems

With eating contests,

The last one standing wins!

Teachers yelled in the way

That people in Crazyland never did,

Took my notebooks and gave me detention.

And walking alone down the halls,

I decided people in Crazyland didn’t walk

They took flying cars,

Crashed them just because

Hurried off and got new ones.

They never did run out

Because Crazyland didn’t have economics

There was always supply,

People didn’t have to demand.

One day detention was a bright-colored room

Ruled by a bright-colored woman

Who smiled red-lipstick fresh masters degree,

Handed me a too-blank piece of paper,

And asked me to draw.

This?

This was like ice cream for dinner,

Like late-night shows instead of bedtime,

Like the whole set of Ninja Turtles action figures,

Like skipping baths, skipping school,

Running barefoot in a sunlit backyard

And sticking my hands into every dark hole,

Squishing mud and insects between my fingers.

This was Crazyland’s patron saint.

I drew until she ran out of paper,

Then I drew short-hand revisions,

I talked until my throat hurt,

Downed an apple juice

And talked some more.

The blonde-haired angel asked questions,

Took notes,

Put the stamp of adult approval on my dreams

And Crazyland,

Well,

Crazyland got crowded.

I started listening in school

Just for new material.

George Washington rode a horse through Crazyland City streets,

Planes shaped like multiplication signs did acrobatics in the air,

Tom Saywer led a rebellion of angry parallelograms

Against the tyranny of the vegetable-heavy food pyramid.

I came prepared each session

And each session she listened,

Filled her notebooks with words I couldn’t understand,

But probably wouldn’t fit in Crazyland anyway.

I came for session one day and she frowned,

Put a hand on my head like it were something very fragile,

And said she couldn’t see me anymore.

I assumed, of course, Crazyland had gotten, well, a bit out of hand, I know.

But I had laid out a railroad,

Coal-powered, of course,

And it could carry off some of the excess.

I proposed it to her for a few days after,

Came bursting through her door

While she scribbled furiously over other kids.

Look,

I told her,

You’re in here too.

I had drawn her, as best I could,

Stick-figured, puffy blonde curls,

Put someone flesh-and-blood into a world of smudged crayon.

She shooed me out,

Locked the door.

This was hard to understand,

Crazyland, after all, had no locks.

Years later, I learned another word for crazy.

Mentally Ill.

Psychotic.

Hyperactive.

Learned that there were square pegs

And the world was a series of round holes.

There were doctors like straight-razors,

They could shape you just right,

They wore white coats, sometimes,

Other times, they wore bright blonde hair.

My parents didn’t believe in medication for children,

And they told my grade school as much.

Forced them to abandon pre-written pre-scriptions

Technological Treatments Tailored

To wash the streets of Crazyland,

Restore balance,

Order,

Sanity.

1/4 of children under the age of 16

Suffer from hyperactive disorders

Characterized by distractibility,

Disorganized behavior,

And excessive talking.

Suggested treatment includes

Ritalin, Adderal, Provigil, Strattera

And, ha ha, talk therapies.

Untreated, ADHD can cause difficulties in adolescence,

Reduce chances of graduating High School

And lead to a life of crime, depression

And spoken word poetry.

My parents said “He’s just a kid”

So the school never fixed me.

And even though I’ve learned astronomy

Learned the constant pull of gravity.

I remember Crazyland

And sometimes

I put it to the test.