Dia Cinco: Spanish Customs

There are three, all of which are completely new to me and have never been mentioned to me outside of the country. They strike me as slightly important, as they involve the way everyone greets everyone else, the way everyone eats and the way everyone talks. These, typically, are important parts of staying any length of time in a country. That is, unless your stay involves talking to no one, eating nothing and staying completely silent.

Anyway.

First. Greeting people. I've been calling it “los dos”. It's where whenever I am introduced to a girl, instead of shaking hands like normal people, I am to press my lips to a complete stranger's face not once, but twice, one on each cheek.

Having only recently gotten used to the one kiss, this is a bit nerve-wracking for me. This is because of the danger zone.

As you can see, a normal one-kiss greeting involves dodging the danger zone only once. “Los dos” on the other hand, involves dodging it once and then having to come in for another pass. The zone is dangerous because if you for any reason mess up your lip trajectory, you are now making out with a stranger. This is especially bad if you are in front of their significant other. This is even worse if you are in a country whose language you don't speak and that boyfriend is Spanish.

Not that it's happened. But I can't help but brace myself for impact every time I meet someone.

Second. Ham.

So. Much. Fucking. Ham. There are ham stores. Stores that sell exclusively ham and ham related products. Every convenience store has some variety of ham. Ham comes on bread. On salad. With eggs. And sometimes it just hangs out on a plate on its own. That's right, you go to a bar, order a nice beer and get a side of HAM.

There's a restaurant called “El Museo del Jamon”. The museum of ham. This is a real thing. It's also a real thing that has branches ALL over the city.

Third. “Vale”.

Every other word out of a Spanish person's mouth is “vale”. It means “okay”, essentially, and from what I can gather, it's the only way Spanish people can exhale. Inhale, silence, exhale: “Vale”.

I kind of love it.