Being kid-friendly

Let's talk more about poetry and not about this:

Or the whole blacking out Al-Jazeera in the US so people watching the news can focus on something trashy.

America: Making the world safe for Democracy, unless that democracy might lead to decisions that we don't like.  Then we're totally behind ruthless dictators.

But who needs politics! I'm a writer! I'm supposed to remove myself entirely from the petty squabbles of everyday life and produce high prose about pastoral settings where everyone's happy, even the slaves.

In that vein, I've decided to participate as a performer here.  It's a poetry contest for kids where they write about love and get judged by jaded yuppies.  That was sarcastic, but it does sound really cool.  And literacy is important, blah blah blah.

So I need to take the curse words out of my poems.  But there's a problem with that:

 In order to make a poignant, lasting statement, one needs liberal use of the words "fuck", "shit" and, in gender-conscious poetry, "bitch".  This is the case with my poetry and, I dare say, all poetry.

So, as such, I decided to start writing a more kid-friendly poem.  Behold:

Sometimes…

Sometimes I am Superman

Taking on problems bigger than me

And with a quick one-two

Show them why they don’t make comics about bad guys.

I can span wide frowns with these arms

And X-ray vision?

Pssh

These eyes uncover lies

And surprise

I see right through you.

But sometimes I’m a supervillain.

Hatching master schemes

And working on my evil laugh-

(Try a few laughs)

Just give me a Sharpie and a sleeping face

A shoelace worth tying together

Or a salt shaker to unscrew

And I am an evil mastermind.

Sometimes, I’m a lover.

Telling the girl I love her

Steal stars from the sky for her

Lasso the moon for her

Tell her she’s brighter than gold

And sweeter than sugar.

But sometimes.  I’m a playa.

Letting the phone ring when they call

Seeing Monica on Mondays

And Tonia on Tuesdays,

Girl, the week is only so long.

Then, sometimes, I’m a beggar

Saying “Wait, wait, don’t leave me”

“The week’s so long

And I need you with me!”

Sometimes I’m a master of deception

(Hoarse) Making my voice hoarse

Because I’m much too sick for work today.

Insisting I never got that email

And what five-page essay?

Not only did my dog eat my homework

A crocodile ate my dog!

Fortunately, sometimes I’m the crocodile hunter

And I wrestled that monster to the ground.

So really, I should get an A for effort.

It's a work in progress, i.e., the contest was postponed so I'm going to wait until last minute to get it done.