$40 famous

That's right, boys and girls.

I'm a published author.

More direct link: Anthony's Room

How you like them apples?

I mean, to be fair, I was published once before.  But that didn't earn me any money and is therefore not worth mentioning.

Just kidding.  Money isn't everything.  It just separates the successful from the...bloggers.  BOOM! Take that, Huffington Post.  And me.

So this is kind of exciting.  It's at least a little shot in the arm for my publishing attempts.  I feel confident enough to pay $15 of the money I just made to enter a writing contest I definitely won't win.  Don't worry, a few more crushing defeats and I'll be back to self-righteous posts about sadness.

GO TEAM ME!

The effects of rejection

So, let's get back to the writing stuff.  If I wanted a livejournal, I would have opened a livejournal.  No, this is Blogger, it's held to a higher standard.

Now, I've been rejected so many times from so many different magazines that I've started trying to guess what the rejection will say.  How will they start, with the bland sort of

"I hope this finds you well"

Or will they tell me how incredibly small my chances were of getting accepted in the first place

"We receive so many submissions"

Will they soften the blow?

"And while your submission is excellent"

Or will they just go at it

"This is not what we're looking for"

Will they wish me well?

"We wish you luck in your future endeavors?"

Or will they do something like

"Cheers!
- The Drabblecast Team"

Yeah, that last one was for real.  Cheers! You're rejected.  It's like breaking up with someone and nudging them going "Good knowin' ya, eh?"

Or nice while it lasted or something like that.

Anyway, one of the side effects of rejection is acceptance.

I got accepted to be published in Underground Voices Magazine, which is not so much a magazine as it is a website.  But it's something! It's $40 of something.  That's right, it's my first time getting paid for my writing.  I'm gonna go spend that money on booze and drugs.  Just like a real artist!

Another side effect of rejection is this:
"Dear Mixer Magazine,
  I'm not going to lie to you.  This story will be published someday by someone.  That someone could be you.  That's the opportunity I'm presenting today, the opportunity to publish this story.  Think about how you'd feel if later on in life you woke up, had your morning coffee and set about reading your daily intake of literary magazines and suddenly BAM! There's my story.  Printed in a magazine that is most definitely not yours.  How would you deal with the regret?

  So do yourself a favor.  Don't live a life filled with regret.  Publish this story."

A writer's apathy is a fearsome thing.

Your rejection "didn't work for me"

"Thanks for submitting this story, but I'm going to pass on it. It didn't quite work for me, I'm afraid. Best of luck to you placing this one elsewhere, and thanks again for sending it my way."

What is this?

What the hell does that mean?

"It didn't quite work for me"

I didn't send you the story to find out whether it worked.  I sent you the story to try and get it into your magazine.  I know my story works.  I want to find out if you'll publish it.


What I want from a rejection letter:

• Notice that you will not be publishing my work
• That's it.

This isn't the first time I've gotten this reply, either.  There was someone else who said "it didn't quite work for me".  Those EXACT words.  I'm not the only one. 

What is it with these editors that they think we really care about their opinions? No, we want to know if it's accepted.  If not, suggestions are nice.  If not, SHUT UP.

Also, I'm annoyed.

Open Door MADNESS!

Yes.  Madness.

I occasionally am bad at this blog thing.  I go through spurts where I absolutely must blog about every piddling little thing and then lulls where I realize my life is really boring and no one wants to read about it.

So, now that I'm depressed, let's get on with it!

I'm gonna start using labels so anyone not interested in hearing me call for the arrest of certain asshole political figures can ignore them.

Anyway, so I'm submitting Xenotone to this.  A fiction/fantasy publisher is having an open door month where they take in all the detritus of the wannabes with the hope of fishing something worthwhile out of the garbage bin of mankind.  It's like being a freegan, but with peoples hopes and dreams.

It's pretty interesting, I've been submitting mostly to agents, this'll be the first time I'll be going straight to the publisher.  I looked through some of their books and they look pretty interesting.  Worth checking out, ya know.

Anyway, thought I'd give a little writing update.  I'll keep all you non-existent readers in the loop.

Breakthrough or strike two?

Whoo!

I'm submitting to the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest Thing Awesome Face!

Of course, I'm submitting Malefici, rather than the newer novel.  That's not really an "of course", because the newer novel is BETTER.  But it's also part one of a two-part novel and I feel like if you're gonna have a breakthrough novel, it should be a complete one, amirite?

So we'll see how this goes.  And by see how this goes, I mean anticipate horrible failure.

In other  news, I'm going to a slam tonight:

That's right, I'm gonna be slamming faces and taking names, and I'm all out of bubblegum or whatever that expression is.

Also, in other news, I'm going to be comedian.

Man, if my life were a meal, I'd be carb-loading like crazy.