New hope for vegetarians

So this has been in the news.

Apparently Taco Bell does not serve high-quality locally-farmed organic sirloin steak with every kid's meal.  What a fucking travesty.

Louis Black says it better.  Plus, if you watch that, you don't have to read stuff.  Who wants to read stuff, amirite?

So anyway, the summary is that Taco Bell says their food is 88% beef (which, I guess is why they emblazon packages of it with the words "taco meat filling" instead of "BEEF").  The lawyers say, however, it's more like 36% beef.  So really arguing over nothing, right? The lawyers insist Taco Bell call it "taco meat filling" rather than beef.  Which you could totally see being good for business.

Then again, it's taco bell:

Source

So the question came to me as I was making my way through three of seven layers of my burrito filling:

Does this mean vegetarians can eat at Taco Bell?

I mean, technically it's not meat.  And vegetarians should be used to the taste of the filling, since they eat mostly processed food filler anyway, so it wouldn't be much of a change.  I feel like this opens new doors to vegetarians.  For the longest time they've been deprived of having high cholesterol, diabetes and heart failure.  Now even the greenest of the green can make themselves sick.  It truly is a brave new world.

Thank you, Taco Bell, for making the world a more unhealthy place.

P.S: In order to make up for my hardcore bashing of vegetarians, here's a tofu recipe:

Sauteed tofu:

Cut tofu into slices and press out some of the water in each slice with a paper towel.  In a separate container, put soy sauce, sesame oil and pretty much anything else (sriracha, salt and pepper, hell, you can even get wild and put some hot+sour sauce up in there).  Put the slices into the container with this mixture and shake it like a polaroid picture until the slices are nicely coated.

Put some oil (Olive oil and maybe a little sesame oil) in a pan and heat it.  Then throw some chopped garlic in there and cook until delicious.  Once that’s done, take each slice and sautee them until…well, whenever, really, you can make them really cooked or leave them a little squishy.  After they’re all cooked, you can take some of that leftover sauce and sautee some chives or whatever else you want to eat with your delicious tofu creations.